wheizers's Xanga

Monday, September 21, 2009

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 05:44:31 GMT

Why Women are Bitches #34893028

We don't want to admit that we've lost things. It was taken from us.

And it's always personal.

Even losing a deal or bargain feels like such a personal loss to us, as if we were taken advantage of. Women love to bargain, and often times it's just for the SAKE of bargaining. We don't LOSE the bargain - that freaking 3rd world country poor farmer woman STOLE and CHEATED us out of our 30 cents for a handmade woolen hat! No, we did not lose the bargain - we were robbed! A whole 30 cents!!

And regardless of whether we get the bargain or not, what does the old woman who handknit that hat and sold it to us say?

"Bitch!"

A woman we met from Australia in Bolivia over breakfast at the hostel was asking if we had seen a cell phone in the lobby. She said she lost a cell phone upon arriving in the hostel, and thinks she left it in the lobby during check-in or breakfast. Unfortunately none of us saw a cell phone, but we assured her we'd keep an eye out. 10 mins later, she's yelling at the Bolivian ladies at the front desk claiming her cell phone was stolen from her room, and it must have been the cleaning ladies. True, it could easily have happened, and I'm sure things get stolen from hostels ALL the time (I have been a victim of that myself), but just moments ago she admitted she lost or misplaced it. Not only that, she really was making such a fuss about it to the women with limited english. You don't go from admitting that YOU lost or misplaced your personal item to accusing someone of having stolen it.

What did we say as we left the hostel to enjoy La Paz?

"Bitch!"

Just to give you an image of what a bitch looks like, I'll describe the aforementioned woman as large and ugly. BUT, bitches come in all sizes, colors, and grades of attractiveness. Some may even argue that the higher grade of attractiveness, the higher the bitchy level.

How to avoid this common bitchy behavior? If you have nothing to lose, then nothing can be taken from you, and there is no reason to bitch about it.

So, in conclusion, I had nothing, lost nothing, and had nothing taken. I love the simple life.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 07:48:21 GMT

I Put the NEW in New Zealand!

There are a few things that make me exude happiness from the inside, and New Zealand has quite a number of them: mountains, trees, oceans, rocks, and clouds. I swear, the clouds are more beautiful here. I love New Zealand; I imagine that it must be significantly better than just "Zealand," wherever that is, for it to have been named the NEW Zealand.

New is NOT always better (i.e. old stuff like snail mail, Volkswagen Corrados, and Sean Connery still rock the sh*t), but being the typical insatiable humans we are, we don't know that until we try it. Then we can decide whether we want to go back to the old stuff, or have both the old and the new, like Sean Connery and Brad Pitt at the same time.... haha, just kidding.

Not that I needed to go to NEW Zealand to try new things - I was never a person who needed an "excuse" to do something I want to do. But it definitely puts a positive association with my trip to New Zealand. This is how you train dogs. Obey command --> treat --> good. Disobey --> NO! --> no treat --> bad.

New Zealand --> new things --> fun --> good.

I haven't done a list in awhile, and I have enough new things to list, so here goes!

(1) Not a single relative or person commented on how dark I am.
This is breaking news. First of all, it's just a miracle b/c I happen to be very dark at the moment (literal chinese word for 'tan' or 'dark skinned' is black - yes that's what they call me). Secondly, it's winter in NZ so everyone else is pasty white... except for California me! Thirdly, they're all Taiwanese, meaning their standard of beauty for a woman is having light skin.

People have no idea how frustrating it is to be criticized for being tan, b/c following our train of associations: dark/tan --> ugly (or not beautiful + white) --> bad. Last year at Esther's wedding, I wore a gorgeous silk brown Vera Wang grecian goddess gown. I read a poem at her ceremony. I like to think I read it beautifully, and looked it too. During the reception, someone came up to me and said I looked naked b/c my skin is so dark it's the same color as my dress. YEAH, THANKS WOMAN!

My xanga profile pic is from that wedding. Was I really that dark? Do I really look naked? Well guess you can't see my dress that well in the picture.... anyways...

Look at all the women in this picture. I am the darkest. It's not even that bad, right?

So, in conclusion: New Zealand --> no comment about my darkness --> relatives are simply happy to see and spend time with me --> I'm not so ugly after all --> good.

(2) Bungee jumping at Taupo!
Fear of heights - almost nixed from climbing. Fear of direct exposure at high speeds - nixed w/ cycling. So what's next? BUNGEE JUMPING!! It was exhilarating, empowering, exciting, and any other positive descriptive word beginning with e. Drug associations come to mind, and you know what, it was probably pretty darn close. I wouldn't know, and frankly with things like bungee jumping, why would I need to know.

Milliseconds after feeling I was about to piss in my skinny jeans, I jumped without hesitation and wanted to scream, "FREEDOM!!!" Braveheart style, but I realized that would make no sense. Not like I'm jumping to escape anything - I am tethered to the platform. The thought that my scream sounds ugly also crossed my mind.

Unfortunately I don't have pictures (yet) but when I get them, I will post. There is also a video, which upon initial viewing looks impressive b/c I seem absolutely fearless jumping off, and almost elegant in my relaxed form... until I bounce back up and for the moments frozen in time when I'm suspended before falling again. At that moment of silent suspension, you see me flailing and waving my arms like a bird who has lost all its feathers and trying to fly. It's very sad. It was a primal instinct.

This is where I jumped off from. 47m.

New Zealand --> bungee jumping --> MAJOR COJONES (not literally, but figuratively... somehow BOOBIES or BREASTS just don't have the same effect/meaning as BALLS) --> base jumping or sky diving will be next --> very good.

(3) I didn't fight with my Mom once.
Not a single time in SIX days. I think that's a new record. In celebration, I will post a picture of a super cute lamb sucking my finger. B/c looking at this picture will evoke warm fuzzies, also associated with daughters getting along with their mothers. If it doesn't, you're just really evil.

New Zealand --> no fights with Mom --> cute lamb sucking on my finger --> warm fuzzies --> very very good.

P.S. I still think lamb is delicious, esp New Zealand lamb. They are divinely delicious AND charmingly cute. Vegetarians, what more could a lamb ask for???

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 07:13:42 GMT

Why Women are Bitches #248.

This entry can also be called, "Why I have no female friends." It is because women are bitches. Myself included. Frankly, I don't know how men put up with us. They must really love having sex with us.

So why are women bitches?

We love to have the last word. We must comment and opine on everything. We must make our thoughts known, even if it's completely unnecessary, overly critical, pointless, and for lack of a better word, bitchy. This entry itself is a prime example.

Being an engineer with mostly male friends, sometimes I forget about this bitchiness in women, and frankly, my bitchiness doesn't emerge much amongst my male friends. They don't bring it out of me like women do. It's like how womens' menstrual cycles are tied together - our bitchiness is tied together. How convenient. The more the bitchier. It's natural; everyone knows bitches (female dogs) don't get along, but put a male and female dog together, and they can play happily. Bitchiness is in nature, just like homosexuality - a natural truth many do not want to accept.

Like every other woman, I enjoy a shopping day here and there, but I forgot what it was like shopping with women other than my sister. I often (1) shop online, (2) shop alone, or (3) shop with my mother or sister. Those are the only 3 scenarios in which I shop. Sunday was an anomaly, I guess since I was driving 2 of my closest girl friends (M and C) back from camping, and since we are traveling together in September to Peru, figured we might make a shopping spree together for the trip. Boy, I learned I need to spend more time with them before we travel together.

All women are self conscious of their weight. The fat ones and the skinny ones. The athletes and the couch potatoes. We all care. Don't deny it. Even though I tell myself I'm pretty satisfied with how I look b/c I'm happy with my lifestyle, I sure wish I was thinner. Haha. So upon seeing a purple silk dress that I liked but totally didn't need (even giving myself the excuse I could use a dress for the wedding this weekend), I was dismayed they didn't have my size. They had one size smaller, or two sizes larger. I have a few dresses in the smaller size, so I figured I might give it a shot.

M retorts, "Don't split it!" I laughed, and said, "I know, if it doesn't fit, then I won't get it, that's all. I need to save money, anyway."

I couldn't zip the last 1.5 inches. Since the dress was $69, and I'm a cheapo, I didn't want to try too hard and I didn't see it as a huge loss since it wasn't that cheap anyway. I brought it out, with M waiting eagerly to see me come out with it, and I said, "I couldn't zip it all the way up."

She scoffed, "Ha, I knew it, I could've told you that!"

My reaction in my head was, "Damn, what a fucking bitch." Women LOVE made snide comments. What was the point of that last statement? I already acknowledged it wasn't exactly my size, but I do own clothing in that size, so it wasn't extraordinary or completely delusional to try it on. And being a woman myself, her bitchiness almost spurred me to retort with a comment on her size and weight. I held back though, b/c M has diabetes and it would just downright be wrong. I mean, that would make me not only a bitch, but an evil bitch. M is known to be bitchy and moody, but I wasn't going bring that up on a freaking shopping trip. Just not worth my time. The shopping AND the bitching.

I thought hard about what a guy would say, and honestly a guy would've said nothing. Or a guy wouldn't have gone shopping at all, and no one would be there to accompany me and make snide comments about my dress size. How simple. The beauty of men. I love them. Women are such bitches.

*sigh* And I have 2 weeks of traveling with M + C. Good luck to me. Look out for entries called, "Why I Travel Alone or with my Male Friends #439208" in the future....

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 05:08:41 GMT

The Freedom of Choice.

I like to learn things the hard way - no, let me rephrase - I always end up learning the hard way. Maybe that is the only way I learn. The last few years have been full of hard lessons, and in the end, I ultimately realize how much I treasure my freedom to choose. Even the tough times were a result of a choice I made, and I can accept that. The joyful times were also a result of my decisions and choices, which makes them sweeter and more satisfying. In many cases, I feel the freedom to choose is more important to me than the actual choice I made.

This is what I chose; what I wanted. That thought itself is what keeps me going and loving my life - b/c it's the life that I have chosen 100%. I will never give up that freedom.

I chose to eat 3 fattening Oreo cookies today. They were delicious. Life is good.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 05:24:55 GMT

My Craigslist Rant.

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/rnr/1141905238.html

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 07:26:52 GMT

Nicaragua!

I think part of the reason why I love to travel to foreign countries is that it forces me out of my comfort zone and I appreciate what I have even more. This and of course, the excitement of seeing and experiencing a different culture, being on vacation, and feeling like a free spirit ... a free spirit who works a corporate job, owns a house, has two cats, and many other financial and emotional obligations that make it nothing more than a dream to be a nomad around the world. Honestly I don't even know being a nomad like that would make me happy.... I think what I do right now is pretty darn close to perfect for me.

A beautiful country - even from the airplane window!

Flying never ceases to invoke self-evaluation and soul-searching in me; I don't know what it is... maybe the possibility that I may die in a plane crash? The reminder that the world is so huge and beautiful, towering over me and my meaningless problems?

A country full of color in their advertisements, political propaganda, houses, buildings....

... clothing, language, and attitude! Even in this guy!

The hills made me miss my gorgeous bay area... the Mission Peaks in Fremont, Calaveras, the hills on the Peninsula... I the bay area. I will never see myself settling down anywhere else.

Where seasonal workers in Selva Negra stay... made me appreciate all my modest living in NYC to Alameda to Pleasanton to Oakland to SF! It even made my ghetto-est hostel experiences in my backpacking trips seem quite above-average.

I saw tons of stray and street dogs, which made me miss and appreciate Kuma. The humid heat and beautiful beaches made me miss Bali. Eating the delicious fresh fish made me miss my Dad. Getting into my bathing suit made me miss the athletic body I had in 9th grade... haha or I guess more recently, post-Florence-marathon. Swimming in the warm ocean made me miss my Hawaii trip with my Mom, probably the last time we had one-on-one time and actually enjoyed each other's company. Partying and drinking in a world where I don't speak the language made me miss my friends back home and the people I truly care about and want to be with. A lot of people have crossed my path in my life so far, some of made an impression, some have not, and it's not always determined by how long I've known them. But my time is precious and limited, and I only have time for the really important people who bring something more to my life. Life is too short to be wasted on shallow people, bad friends, and losers. I missed my true friends and glad I made new ones! ( you, M) Hearing spanish made me miss middle school... when I made the conscious decision to take french instead of spanish to be different from my sister... so stupid, we could've spoken to each other in spanish and not have our parents understand!

Nicaragua made me miss what I have and as a result, love what I have even more.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 14:46:29 GMT

Happy Birthday, Mark!

2009 has already started off with losing some old friends, some very close, some not so much, but either way, it all balances out in the end... I've lost some old friends, gained some new ones, and even old friends have become new! It's unbelievable to me that Mark and I have been friends since 1999 - that's NINE years. We haven't been in the same state for FIVE years. We haven't seen each other in THREE years. We haven't talked on the phone or exchanged emails in probably at least a YEAR. Until NOW, he's moved to SF!

Too bad we can't relive our indie and foreign film-seeing days like we did back in NYC - oh, the Angelika - but we can relive some of our college years. With money.

We celebrated Mark's 28th (holy shit, I'm turning 28 this year. Fuck.) bday at Beretta in the Mission. It was delicious, the pizza crisp, the wine flowing, the conversation entertaining.... especially w/ Mark's boisterous boss and coworkers. (Mark himself is quite quiet, which makes it funnier.)

Johnny, Mark's boss. Dennis, Mark's college friend, who I didn't know in college. Maybe Mark never introduced us b/c he was embarrassed to be my friend. Damn. Sliver of Mark's HS friend, Jimmy.

Jimmy, with his "Recycling is SEXY" t-shirt, and the bday boy in his shiny fancy schmancy shirt. I did say we were reliving college years but WITH MONEY. Is that shiny shirt bling bling or what?

Mark, waitress who needs a pushup bra (or ANY bra), Jennifer (also Mark's college friend who I didn't know in college - shiet...), and his coworker, Aaron, who is from Houston and is 22. These are the things I remember when I meet people.

Then we went off to imbibe lots of alcohol in some Mission dive joint, and we chose Amnesia. How fitting.

I assume Johnny was telling a story, but you know what, I forgot. Amnesia.

Jennifer + Dennis. Maybe I did meet them in college, but I forgot. Amnesia.

Happy Birthday, Takahiro Mark! I'll never forget that you were my first friend in college. Welcome to SF!! <3

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 21:39:05 GMT

The Grass is Greener on the Other Side.

Well, no duh b/c you f*cked up all the grass that's on your side!!!

Humans are such strange creatures - we want what we can't have, don't maintain and appreciate what you DO have, and then we blame everyone and their mother (as long as it's not yourself) for all your problems. With all the recent propaganda on being sustainable... having sustainable housing, sustainable farming, sustainable businesses... what about sustainable relationships? Relationships with other people, our jobs, our planet.... I've always learned to treat people the way you want to be treated. It's a very simple concept. It's kind of like one of the basic physics laws but for social skills - every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

You treat someone like sh*t, chances are they will want to throw that sh*t right back at you. You hate your job and slack off, chances are they will want to axe you next time there are layoffs. You make time to spend with your friends, chances are those friends will make time to spend it with you. Your company tries hard to keep its employees happy, chances are the employees WILL be happy and be motivated to work harder for their company. It's fairly simple.

If only people were simple creatures. People who are successful are typically the ones who don't get complacent and are constantly striving for more, evaluating themselves, and actively trying to improve their lives. And with all the options and opportunities these days in terms of careers and relationships, it can be difficult for someone to settle on one job, career, location, or person. Does this necessarily mean moving from green pasture to green pasture destroying the current pasture you're on? Personally I think that leads to nowhere, jumping from job to job, or person to person, moving from location to location with the motivation that there is something wrong with what you have now. It might just be that YOU might be the problem. It could be a pretty big hint to you if everything you touch turns to crap. Now if your motivation to moving around was that YOU think you could do MORE and be BETTER on the other side... then by all means, make this world a better place. But somehow I don't think that's how most people are, unfortunately. Either they have their finger pointed at someone else or straight up in defiance.

Remember, the old grass was probably pretty awesome before you came and trampled on it, so take care of it.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 23:59:04 GMT

Cheese Rave.

I have a love/hate relationship with cheese.

I love, love, LOVE eating cheese. All kinds of cheese. Cheese on crackers, cheese with wine, cheese with fruit, cheese on sandwiches, cheese in eggs, cheese on pizza, cheese on pasta, cheese on salads, cheese on soups (isn't it divine?!), cheese baked into bread... and just plain cheese by itself! It's such a wonderful dairy product that I could never live without. Bless the soul who decided to eat that hella hella moldy smelly whey protein by-product of milk/cream. It tastes so delicious and makes me so happy.

Now for the hate part. It makes my butt fat overnight. No joke. One fine day in NYC, I'm wearing jeans #4. Comfortably. That evening I go to a wine tasting and eat copious amounts of cheese, crackers, and fruit. Ok, I drink tons of wine, too. The next day - jeans #4 do not fit the same. I shit you not. The fat in cheese goes STRAIGHT to my butt.

Why oh why must delicious cheese by accompanied by lots of fat and calories? Why? Why? Why?

No more. I've discovered Laughing Cow lite cheese.

Ok, this isn't some gourmet camembert or whatever, but for daily cheese and crackers - Laughing Cow does it. For 35 calories in a wedge that's enough to spread a handful of crackers. Trader Joe's stoned wheat crackers and Laughing Cow lite creamy swiss cheese (french onion or garlic herb are both great) are my grown-up Handisnack upgrade... remember those packaged rectangular butter crackers w/ the processed cheddar cheese? No more. Gimme an upgrade! Their lite Babybel's are also awesome and only 35 calories - upgrade from mozzarella sticks, people!

And the image of a laughing cow is just.... priceless.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 08:02:51 GMT

Dogs.

I had dinner with my friend Alex and his wife, Lily last week and I got to see their sweet pit bull, Oski. She is really the sweetest. Her big brown eyes and her eagerly wagging tail reminded me of Kuma. I truly believe dogs are a very accurate reflection of their owners: their souls, their hearts, their emotions.

But what about dogs that don't belong to anybody?

Unfortunately many of the dogs I saw in Southeast Asia were stray. I think people fed them from time to time, but they didn't specifically belong to or were being cared for by anybody. Still, they had a soulful look in their eyes when they made eye contact with me that never ceased to touch me and humanize me, even moreso than seeing the locals there. I almost felt like the stray dogs, wandering in a foreign land, wondering where to eat or sleep next. It's an amazing feeling.

Dogs sleeping peacefully and lazily in temples. Dogs sleeping amongst busy streets as if nothing is going on around them. Dogs wandering around carefree. Dogs sad with hunger and loneliness. Dogs grinning from ear to ear. Dogs perfectly content to be held and touched by someone.

I dogs.